


The Abandoned House

by Corey5268



Category: Deadpool - All Media Types, Marvel, Spider-Man - All Media Types
Genre: Established Relationship, Fic or Treat 2019, Fluff, Halloween, M/M, Wade scares the neighborhood children, a very brief mention of cannibalism, but it's more mild than what you'd usually expect from Deadpool
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-31
Updated: 2019-10-31
Packaged: 2021-01-31 20:06:50
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 433
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21253856
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Corey5268/pseuds/Corey5268
Summary: Wade has a chat with the neighborhood children while he gives out candy.
Relationships: Peter Parker/Wade Wilson
Comments: 11
Kudos: 66
Collections: Isn't it Bromantic - Fic or Treat 2019





	The Abandoned House

**Author's Note:**

> Written for Fic or Treat 2019 on the Isn't it Bromantic Discord server. I had prompt #8: "No one's lived in that house for 30 years." I wrote a trick fic!
> 
> Many thanks to CuteAsAMuntin for beta reading!

“No one’s lived in that house for 30 years,” Wade informs the kids that have gathered on the stoop of the building. “I come here every year to give out candy so that nobody disturbs the ghosts. They say that there’s a history of death in that house. Gruesome murders. Heads chopped off, organs blended into smoothies.” One little girl, maybe 8 years old, hides behind her older sister’s leg.

“But, Mr. Deadpool, sir, why would they turn organs into smoothies?” One brave kid dressed as a pumpkin asks.

“Well, kids, have you ever heard of cannibalism?” Several kids shake their heads, while a couple of teenagers nod vigorously. “You see, when someone loves other humans _ very _much, sometimes they want to-”

Wade’s cut off by the front door opening. Several kids gasp, and a little boy runs away crying. The remaining kids, quaking in their costumed boots, are generally confused when they see a friendly-looking man, younger than most of their parents, step out of the building.

“Hey, babe, are you planning on coming back inside anytime soon? We have to finish our Halloweentown marathon.” He looks around, and frowns. “Are you scaring the kids again? Wade, we’ve talked about this.” The man pinches the bridge of his nose between his fingers, and Wade turns back to the kids, looking sheepish.

“I may have neglected to mention that nobody has really been murdered here as far as I know. And that my husband and I live in this apartment building. Though he might be living alone after ruining my scary story, _ Peter.” _

“Stop terrorizing small children, and come back inside. Happy Halloween! Wade’s going to give you each a handful of candy for putting up with him being a jerk.”

  
“But _Mooooooom._” Peter just glares at him. The kids each get a scoop of candy for their troubles, and are sent on their merry (if a little traumatized) way. Once the kids are out of sight, Peter offers Wade his hand, and pulls him up to standing.

“What am I going to do with you? What could I possibly do to make you finally listen to me about not scaring our neighbors. Hmm…” Wade doesn’t miss the gleam in Peter’s eyes as he ‘absentmindedly’ taps on the bracelet that holds his web shooters.

“I mean, I definitely need to be taught a lesson.” Wade shrugs, trying to look as innocent as possible. Peter turns to walk back in the building. He pauses, looking over his shoulder at Wade with a smirk.

“Coming?” Wade scrambles after his husband.

“Oh, I certainly will be.”

  



End file.
